I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
