Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
