we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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