even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
