I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i dont even know how to be here
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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