ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
