your thong is hanging out like whoa
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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