she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
