What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm too high and old for this...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
