Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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