I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
