P.S. I can't hear my feet
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
