Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As shirtless as possible
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
