please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
