he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
