Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
