I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize