Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just had sex bonerless
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
