I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
