Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
