ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
