Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
