so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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