in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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