Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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