Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize