you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and she was petting her beer can
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
