Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
