Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love you. Go after that dick
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
