I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
