There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
