im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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