epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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