Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize