I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
