After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
