He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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