We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
