It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
