is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
