i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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