He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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