I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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