People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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