Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
