those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
