Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You can't just leave with hair like that
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
