Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
