You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
