I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dating After Heartbreak
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.