Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
