Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My bed smells like the plague
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
