Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
