ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
