apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize