guys are only as good as the porn they watch
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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