the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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