i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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