dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
