Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
