Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
